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well, I mean it's just game grumps and its not really animated.

for a first go this might not be so bad but i'd say you still need more practice

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ok ok ok!! well....damn.

First of all I really wasnt expecting to like it as much as I did, the only reason you got a 3 and not a 5 is because the art is very lacking.
but well let me be frank, brilliant message especially to all the content creators that get very upset over peoples criticism of their work.

Now aside from the writing, dialogue, etc, let me analyze it from an artist perspective.
Style - 4/10: you seem to have your own style but still under developed. study some anatomy, do some figure drawing. also your backgrounds are just photos, which aren't bad but it feels more like you do it because your nervous to do them yourself.

Color - 5/10: colors are very simple, explore more.

Movement - 5/10: I'm a huge stickler for good motion and movement. a good book to get to make things clear is "The Animators Survival Kit" by Richard WIlliams.

keep trying, you have a great sense of humor and you put a lot of energy into your voice acting, just work on your art and you'll be amazing!

Pikalolz responds:

So just to be clear, you like my writing and you don't like my art. I can accept that. Thanks for the criticism. However, I find the "study some anatomy" part a bit irrelevant since the style I'm going for isn't suppose to be realistic. I'm aware that the head is far too big for the body and that the characters don't have fingers, noses, ears etc. But maybe you were referring to something else.

When it comes to the backgrounds, I'm definitely not "nervous" about drawing them. I'm just lazy. Also, I'm playing around with the idea of being a cartoon in real life. Perhaps next time I could try and make that more obvious. I agree that the animation movement could be smoother.

While you are quite a critic, I'm surprised you didn't say anything about the fuzzy audio quality, but perhaps that's only obvious if you're listening with headphones and loud volume. You can hear a strange scratchy background noise during most of the video.

Thanks for the criticism :)


Lighting needs work, lighting is so essential in live filming.

your framing and compositions, not bad, I think that it communicates well enough for what you were trying to accomplish and 10/10 for keeping with the 180 rule!

What gave me the inclination to rate it so low is.....the writing. I really did like what you were trying to go for but it just seems so rushed and in your face (not in the good way) the dialogue also was very dry to me.

and finally with something like this consider the wardrobe, it looks like you live there with the people you are pestering, not just some random annoying kid that broke into the house.

hit me up with your next project though im always happy to see new stuff.

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